He's Always Been Faithful -- Surgery Update

Laura -- one day after surgery

I had surgery to remove my colon earlier this summer in June. Some of you probably already knew that, some of you probably didn’t, and some of you probably didn’t even know I was sick. Here’s some back story and an update on how I’m doing and God’s faithfulness through the whole saga. (If you already know the back story, you can skip to the end...)

I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (UC) about 13 years ago, shortly after my first mission trip to Mexico. UC causes chronic inflammation to the lining of the colon, and it can also cause systemic inflammation other places in your body. UC is autoimmune, considered incurable, and still largely not understood by doctors, as we soon found out. For a while we bounced around to different doctors. I always seemed to get worse on the medications they gave me. It took awhile to figure out that my body reacts severely to the main family of medications they use to treat UC.

So, I tried to live well and take care of myself, and didn’t really see the doctor regularly while I was away at college. I had a pretty good system down for managing my symptoms (and hiding the disease from others) although the disease was always active.

About 1.5 years ago, I got referred to a new specialist at U of M. We ended up with a great specialist who listened and explained well. He specifically emphasized these points:

• The longer I have active inflammation, the greater my risk for cancer.
• The only treatment options left to me were basically strong immunosuppressant drugs or surgery. Surgery is considered the final option.
• Immunosuppressant drugs can come with risks, but the benefits (e.g. lower colon cancer risk) outweighed the risks.

So we took the plunge and started immunosuppressive therapy. The transition was rough, but I got through it and was actually improving! I was so happy to finally be feeling better, and I was pretty optimistic as I went for a follow-up colonoscopy last April. The lining of my colon was looking less inflamed, but they also found several polyps throughout that needed to be sent to pathology.

Still, I was feeling cautiously optimistic going into May. I was just finishing a tutoring session with two Syrian students when I got a call from my doctor. Personally. I knew this was not usually a good sign. All the polyps came back with results of low- to high-grade dysplasia (abnormal cell growth that can be an early warning sign for cancer). At this point, my risk for cancer was so high that he recommended I have surgery as soon as possible.

I held it together for the phone call. Then cried. In the month that followed I struggled with feelings of:

• Failure. Like if only I had taken better care of myself or prayed more for healing this wouldn’t have happened. The surgery felt so final - like the bell at the end of a boxing match... I fought but not hard enough. K.O. for me.
• Fear. For the first time in my life, I felt extremely mortal. Death suddenly felt too close to me and it was scaring me out of my mind. I was afraid every time Andy left that something would happen.
• Depression. I didn’t connect to my passions anymore, and engaging with people just felt completely exhausting.

And yet, we could see (and have seen) God’s hand in my life. This included:

• A great doctor who was diligent to monitor me regularly.
• Early detection of the risk.
• Obedience to what we felt like was a specific leading from God to be faithful with my health and follow through with my treatment.
• A job at MSU that provides me with excellent health insurance so we haven’t been financially burdened (or ruined).
• God keeping me as healthy as I had been despite not having any treatment earlier.
• Opportunities to pursue my passions including traveling overseas several times.
• Countless times of God sustaining me, bringing me through situations people in my condition shouldn’t have been in, healing me of uncontrolled bleeding from my colon, arthritis in my joints, and uveitis in my eyes.

But I was still struggling and feeling burdened like I needed to DO something, anything, if God would just heal it all this time. Andy and I took a day to fast and pray for direction. As a result, we both felt like God was speaking rest, and the only thing I needed to do was trust in WHO He is - His goodness and love. And what a feeling of relief – the burden wasn’t on us to conjure some huge feat of faith. He wasn’t requiring anything of us. He wasn’t telling us we had done something wrong. We were reassured with His peace and trusted that He had us covered.

Well, I can’t lie and say I never struggled with fear or depression after that, but largely I experienced a new supernatural level of peace until the day of the surgery. The day of, I was pleasantly surprised at how not-upset I was.

The surgery took about 5 hours, but it went great. I remember waking up that first night in the hospital after all the anesthesia had worn off (I had woken up earlier, but I wasn’t completely lucid). I realized I had made it through the surgery. I had minimal pain and discomfort. I stayed awake for awhile, my spirit full of praise and thanks to the Lord. During our hospital stay we also got further reassurance as the nurses and other hospital spoke very highly of my surgeon, and oohed and ahhed over my tiny, neat incisions. (“His work is like art,” said one of our nurses.)

Recovery has had its ups and downs. I had one big down particularly when I contracted a stomach virus that sent me to the E.R. twice and eventually another hospital stay. I think we’ve experienced mostly ups, however, as after two months I’m feeling practically back to normal. It will still be a while before I’m completely adjusted to my new “normal” (I need to make it through one more follow-up surgery this fall, not as major). However, we are so thankful for God’s care through this recent health crisis, and we look forward to my health being better than ever.

We are especially grateful to all of you. We received such an outpouring of your concern, encouragement and prayers. THANK YOU!!!